Margaret continues to be quiet and peaceful most of the time. This enabled me to tidy up the garden and mow the lawns on Sunday.
Monday morning Margaret woke up in a nice mood and after breakfast surprised me by saying that she wanted to go out. I suggested that we went to Civic, our local shopping mall, look around the shops and have some lunch. Normally I hate taking Margaret around the shops as she wants to buy the most unsuitable things, normally clothes or shoes which she can't wear or pretty objects which we don't need so I was being quite brave.
I think that Margaret wanted to use her new disabled car sticker which we have changed from red to blue. The latter allows unrestricted parking , where legal to do so, and parking in special areas set aside for wheelchair dependent people. When we arrived at Civic all disabled parking spots we full so we had to park a little way from the shops in a normal parking area.
I spent about an hour wheeling Margaret around and apart from looking at some pot plants she really did not want to buy anything. She seemed to enjoy just being out among people. Afterwards we went to the Civic Tavern for lunch. This has a pub style Bistro serving a restricted menu but Margaret enjoyed an "All Day Breakfast" and I had fish and chips. Margaret had some sparkling wine and I had a light beer. We got home about 2.00 pm after an enjoyable, for both of us, outing. I think the spontaneity of the outing made it special.
Since then Margaret has been very quiet. I had to return all her library books as she couldn't concentrate on them. I have got her two short, large print romantic novels set in rural England a hundred or so years ago, She likes these as they are uncomplicated and she gets through them quickly.
This Saturday we are going to visit J and B at their new retirement villa and also see their new dog. Margaret says that she wants to say goodbye to Pancho their old dog who we have known since he was a puppy and is now over fourteen years old. This will also make a change. Margaret can only make about four hours with out resting so it will be a short visit for afternoon tea.
I have just rescued Margaret following another little accident.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Things are what passes for normal around here!
I realise that I haven't blogged since Tuesday. This is because things are reasonably quiet at present. I had to see my own GP later on Tuesday who is C. Margaret's GP is A. They have been in practice together since before we came to Noosa twelve years ago. C is an Indian but when asked by a nosy patient where he came from he said, "Wimbledon!". When A asked me once if front of C why I went to C and not him I couldn't help replying, "I prefer London boys."
Anyway, C carried out his three monthly checks and everything is OK with me and i will see him again in June.
Margaret has spent the week in a very confused state and also in a great deal of pain. The morphine patch keeps the worst at bay and I can only give her paracetamol to help take the edge of anything else. Codeine would be better but this is a sure way to accelerate the drop off in renal function. There is not much for her to do except watch TV. She appears to have stopped reading again. One problem with watching TV is that in her confused state she has began to believe the commercials.
On Wednesday I managed to get Margaret to sit up for a while, while I gave her bedroom and en suite a good clean. I washed all the tiles, shower area, toilet and sink in the en suite down with an antiseptic proprietary cleaner and washed the floor. In the bedroom I vacuumed and dusted then I used our carpet cleaner to clean the carpet and the hall carpet between her bedroom and the kitchen. It gets quite badly stained but really came up well. When Margaret went back to her room she complained that the toilet was dirty and I should have used "Easy Off Bam" the latest wonder toilet and tile cleaner. Also the mirror was streaky because I hadn't used the new mirror cleaning product. She got quite annoyed when I said that I was satisfied with what I had used. Incidentally the mirror streaks were due to the toothpaste splashes which I hadn't quite cleaned off. A spay with water and methylated spirits wiped of with paper soon fixed that.
Thursday was Louis's turn and I spent the morning after doing my shopping clipping his coat. I don't do a very good job but at least it is short and clean. He is very patient as it takes about ninety minutes to do. Thursday evening Margaret said that she wanted to go out to lunch at that Indian Restaurant we visited a few weeks back. She wanted exactly the same to eat. I said that that was OK but I would like some thing different. She said that she wanted Tandoori Chicken and Prawns. This presented a problem. Last time she had the chicken and I had the prawns and we shared. This time I wanted a proper curry. Margaret went ballistic. She was going to have both and she would pay. She didn't understand that this would mean buying two main courses for her and one for me and while I don't really care about the cost I knew that she wouldn't eat even one course on her own. In the end I agreed that we would buy chicken and prawns and I would leave my curry for another day.
Friday morning she had forgotten my back down and was still mad at me it took some time to calm her down and tell her that she could have what she wanted. At 11.00 am she called me to tell me that she didn't feel well enough to go out anyway. Instead I said that we could have some frozen packs of Thai curried prawns for dinner. These are vary mild but quite tasty. Unfortunately when she tasted them she said that they were too spicy and left the lot and had a cheese sandwich instead! I enjoyed mine
.A week or so back a long standing friend J phoned to ask us to come and see their new retirement villa and their new little dog. She and B have been friends since January 1961 when they came out from England. B worked for EMI and their subsequent owners since 1953 when I also started with them. J and B followed us to the Sunshine Coast in 1999 and have lived about 55 km away. They are our age and have sold their house and just moved to a retirement village where they can take pets but not replace them when they die. Their old dog, Pancho, is fourteen years old so they bent the rules and got a younger dog the day before they moved in and thus have a ready made replacement for Pancho before he dies. The funny thing is that Pancho has has a new lease of life with the younger dog on the house. Margaret was quite rude to J and told her that they could not have as nice a home as our other friends M and G whose new villa we visited a month or so ago. J was very good and didn't take offense. We left it that we would get in touch this weekend to arrange a time over Easter for the visit. Since than Margaret has been on at me everyday about phoning J. She actually thought that this weekend is Easter.
Last night Margaret had gone to sleep when she had to get up in a hurry and stagger to the bathroom. Fortunately she made the tiled area before exploding. I was still wake and heard her call out. I rescued her from the mess and got her to sit on her shower chair while I cleaned and disinfected the en suite. Then I helped her shower and got her into a clean nightie and back to bed. She was very upset and took a little while to settle down. I returned to my TV program which I was watching in time shift mode. It actually finished at 10.15 pm but it was gone 11.00 pm before I finally got to watch the ed.
One other bad bit of news is that the BBC has announced that my favourite TV show, "The Bill" is to end after the next series. That means only two more series to watch in Australia.
Anyway, C carried out his three monthly checks and everything is OK with me and i will see him again in June.
Margaret has spent the week in a very confused state and also in a great deal of pain. The morphine patch keeps the worst at bay and I can only give her paracetamol to help take the edge of anything else. Codeine would be better but this is a sure way to accelerate the drop off in renal function. There is not much for her to do except watch TV. She appears to have stopped reading again. One problem with watching TV is that in her confused state she has began to believe the commercials.
On Wednesday I managed to get Margaret to sit up for a while, while I gave her bedroom and en suite a good clean. I washed all the tiles, shower area, toilet and sink in the en suite down with an antiseptic proprietary cleaner and washed the floor. In the bedroom I vacuumed and dusted then I used our carpet cleaner to clean the carpet and the hall carpet between her bedroom and the kitchen. It gets quite badly stained but really came up well. When Margaret went back to her room she complained that the toilet was dirty and I should have used "Easy Off Bam" the latest wonder toilet and tile cleaner. Also the mirror was streaky because I hadn't used the new mirror cleaning product. She got quite annoyed when I said that I was satisfied with what I had used. Incidentally the mirror streaks were due to the toothpaste splashes which I hadn't quite cleaned off. A spay with water and methylated spirits wiped of with paper soon fixed that.
Thursday was Louis's turn and I spent the morning after doing my shopping clipping his coat. I don't do a very good job but at least it is short and clean. He is very patient as it takes about ninety minutes to do. Thursday evening Margaret said that she wanted to go out to lunch at that Indian Restaurant we visited a few weeks back. She wanted exactly the same to eat. I said that that was OK but I would like some thing different. She said that she wanted Tandoori Chicken and Prawns. This presented a problem. Last time she had the chicken and I had the prawns and we shared. This time I wanted a proper curry. Margaret went ballistic. She was going to have both and she would pay. She didn't understand that this would mean buying two main courses for her and one for me and while I don't really care about the cost I knew that she wouldn't eat even one course on her own. In the end I agreed that we would buy chicken and prawns and I would leave my curry for another day.
Friday morning she had forgotten my back down and was still mad at me it took some time to calm her down and tell her that she could have what she wanted. At 11.00 am she called me to tell me that she didn't feel well enough to go out anyway. Instead I said that we could have some frozen packs of Thai curried prawns for dinner. These are vary mild but quite tasty. Unfortunately when she tasted them she said that they were too spicy and left the lot and had a cheese sandwich instead! I enjoyed mine
.A week or so back a long standing friend J phoned to ask us to come and see their new retirement villa and their new little dog. She and B have been friends since January 1961 when they came out from England. B worked for EMI and their subsequent owners since 1953 when I also started with them. J and B followed us to the Sunshine Coast in 1999 and have lived about 55 km away. They are our age and have sold their house and just moved to a retirement village where they can take pets but not replace them when they die. Their old dog, Pancho, is fourteen years old so they bent the rules and got a younger dog the day before they moved in and thus have a ready made replacement for Pancho before he dies. The funny thing is that Pancho has has a new lease of life with the younger dog on the house. Margaret was quite rude to J and told her that they could not have as nice a home as our other friends M and G whose new villa we visited a month or so ago. J was very good and didn't take offense. We left it that we would get in touch this weekend to arrange a time over Easter for the visit. Since than Margaret has been on at me everyday about phoning J. She actually thought that this weekend is Easter.
Last night Margaret had gone to sleep when she had to get up in a hurry and stagger to the bathroom. Fortunately she made the tiled area before exploding. I was still wake and heard her call out. I rescued her from the mess and got her to sit on her shower chair while I cleaned and disinfected the en suite. Then I helped her shower and got her into a clean nightie and back to bed. She was very upset and took a little while to settle down. I returned to my TV program which I was watching in time shift mode. It actually finished at 10.15 pm but it was gone 11.00 pm before I finally got to watch the ed.
One other bad bit of news is that the BBC has announced that my favourite TV show, "The Bill" is to end after the next series. That means only two more series to watch in Australia.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Introducing Paws
I thought I would start with some happy news. My friend J has another dog. She sat around most of Friday and Saturday just crying and missing Jack. On Sunday she went to the RSPCA shelter and adopted an Australian Cattle dog cross (all muts are called Australian Cattle dog crosses) and as he is mostly black with white paws she called him Paws. He is 9 weeks old and too small to take our long walks but too big to carry. J brought him, by car, to the park this morning to introduce him to Louis and here he is with J.
Incidentally he and Louis got on very well.
It appears that poor Jack had Pancreatic Cancer and J decided to have him put down.
On the home front we had one episode on Sunday evening after Margaret went to bed. I had given her her medications, mainly sedatives, pain killers and anti diarrhea pills but thirty minutes later she got up and asked for her tablets. I told her that she had had them but this caused her to get very angry and abuse me. I am getting used to being "a nasty horrible man' and a"liar". I couldn't just give her more tablets as these have to be strictly monitored. After several hours of being woken up by Margaret wheeling in and abusing me I was able to give her couple of Paracetamol and she settled down by about 2.00 am.
Yesterday I had to take Margaret to see her GP as she needed prescriptions for her painkilling patches and Prenisone which keeps her alive. I also had her skin tear checked and the nurse cut off the skin flap as it had died. The wound is about an inch across and will take some time to heal. Her GP commented on her irritability and she told him that it was because I was withholding her medicine. He calmed her down and told me that this was just her short term memory loss problem. Last night I sat with Margaret and made her tell what each tablet, there are six, she took was for. This seems to do the trick as she just went to sleep quickly and appears to be in a good mood this morning.
Incidentally he and Louis got on very well.
It appears that poor Jack had Pancreatic Cancer and J decided to have him put down.
On the home front we had one episode on Sunday evening after Margaret went to bed. I had given her her medications, mainly sedatives, pain killers and anti diarrhea pills but thirty minutes later she got up and asked for her tablets. I told her that she had had them but this caused her to get very angry and abuse me. I am getting used to being "a nasty horrible man' and a"liar". I couldn't just give her more tablets as these have to be strictly monitored. After several hours of being woken up by Margaret wheeling in and abusing me I was able to give her couple of Paracetamol and she settled down by about 2.00 am.
Yesterday I had to take Margaret to see her GP as she needed prescriptions for her painkilling patches and Prenisone which keeps her alive. I also had her skin tear checked and the nurse cut off the skin flap as it had died. The wound is about an inch across and will take some time to heal. Her GP commented on her irritability and she told him that it was because I was withholding her medicine. He calmed her down and told me that this was just her short term memory loss problem. Last night I sat with Margaret and made her tell what each tablet, there are six, she took was for. This seems to do the trick as she just went to sleep quickly and appears to be in a good mood this morning.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
A Quiet Few Days
Since I blogged Tuesday things have been fairly quite. This doesn't mean that Margaret hasn't had her moments but generally she has been in a nice mood.
After I blogged Margaret had a minor stumble against her wheely walker. She just touched her arm against its handle and ended up with a a skin tear about an inch square. I have equipped myself with a comprehensive first aid kit which contains some dressings recommended by the Blue Care RN call Mediplex. I swabbed down Margaret's arm with an antiseptic swab and applied one of these dressings. They are supposed to remain on for four or five days providing there in no sign of infection. Margaret has had very itchy skin recently, another by product of renal failure, and in a couple of days (last Friday) she had scratched off the dressing. The tear was not infected so I put on another one. This morning she has successfully scratched off the second one. Again there is no sign of infection so this time I applied an Opsite dressing which are difficult to scratch off. I will try and get her to see her GP on Monday or Tuesday to see if more needs to be done.
Margaret continues to have confused moments and once she called me for help from her en suite bathroom and, once again, she was just sitting there trying to put on a kitchen bin bag over her incontinence pants. I had some difficulty explaining that the bag was to contain the soiled pants not to wear. This is happening quite regularly and she,literally, doesn't know what day of the week it is.
I signed off last Tuesday wondering how Margaret would get on with the Blue Care carer while I took four hours respite at my computer club meeting. I needn't have worried the carer was T who came last time. She is a dog lover and owns four herself ranging from a Bull Mastiff cross down to a Pug cross so Louis fits nicely into her range. I keep Louis in his lead until he settles and then he just wanders between T, who has a nice relaxing afternoon, and Margaret, T said later that it was obvious that Margaret had a love me, love my dog attitude and had made a note that future carers must be able to cope with Louis.
I had a relaxing three hours at the meeting catching up with old friends and have arranged to give a couple of talks over the next few months if Margaret remains stable. To this end I have been developing a series of tutorials to be present using a Wiki style interface. The idea is that members will be able copy the Wiki to a USB Memory stick and have several tutorials which they can view at home using their browser. This has kept me occupied when not looking after Margaret or the house.
One depressing thing this week has been Margaret's continuing withdrawal from life. She rarely leaves her bedroom and didn't want to go out to lunch on Friday. In the evenings she normally goes to bed at about 8.30 pm. I have, therefor some hours to fill.
Another unrelated tragedy this week has been the death of of my morning dog walking friend's dog Jack. Jack was just under five years old and very special to J. He was just a year old when J's husband died and Jack helped her through a distressing time. We walked together most mornings for an hour and discussed our mutual problems and enjoyed our dogs company. Jack suddenly stopped eating about three weeks ago and in spite of Vet's treating him he was too weak to walk on Monday and died Friday. I shall miss him and hope that J gets herself another dog.
After I blogged Margaret had a minor stumble against her wheely walker. She just touched her arm against its handle and ended up with a a skin tear about an inch square. I have equipped myself with a comprehensive first aid kit which contains some dressings recommended by the Blue Care RN call Mediplex. I swabbed down Margaret's arm with an antiseptic swab and applied one of these dressings. They are supposed to remain on for four or five days providing there in no sign of infection. Margaret has had very itchy skin recently, another by product of renal failure, and in a couple of days (last Friday) she had scratched off the dressing. The tear was not infected so I put on another one. This morning she has successfully scratched off the second one. Again there is no sign of infection so this time I applied an Opsite dressing which are difficult to scratch off. I will try and get her to see her GP on Monday or Tuesday to see if more needs to be done.
Margaret continues to have confused moments and once she called me for help from her en suite bathroom and, once again, she was just sitting there trying to put on a kitchen bin bag over her incontinence pants. I had some difficulty explaining that the bag was to contain the soiled pants not to wear. This is happening quite regularly and she,literally, doesn't know what day of the week it is.
I signed off last Tuesday wondering how Margaret would get on with the Blue Care carer while I took four hours respite at my computer club meeting. I needn't have worried the carer was T who came last time. She is a dog lover and owns four herself ranging from a Bull Mastiff cross down to a Pug cross so Louis fits nicely into her range. I keep Louis in his lead until he settles and then he just wanders between T, who has a nice relaxing afternoon, and Margaret, T said later that it was obvious that Margaret had a love me, love my dog attitude and had made a note that future carers must be able to cope with Louis.
I had a relaxing three hours at the meeting catching up with old friends and have arranged to give a couple of talks over the next few months if Margaret remains stable. To this end I have been developing a series of tutorials to be present using a Wiki style interface. The idea is that members will be able copy the Wiki to a USB Memory stick and have several tutorials which they can view at home using their browser. This has kept me occupied when not looking after Margaret or the house.
One depressing thing this week has been Margaret's continuing withdrawal from life. She rarely leaves her bedroom and didn't want to go out to lunch on Friday. In the evenings she normally goes to bed at about 8.30 pm. I have, therefor some hours to fill.
Another unrelated tragedy this week has been the death of of my morning dog walking friend's dog Jack. Jack was just under five years old and very special to J. He was just a year old when J's husband died and Jack helped her through a distressing time. We walked together most mornings for an hour and discussed our mutual problems and enjoyed our dogs company. Jack suddenly stopped eating about three weeks ago and in spite of Vet's treating him he was too weak to walk on Monday and died Friday. I shall miss him and hope that J gets herself another dog.
Jack
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Things are a Little Better
As the title says things have been a little better since last time I blogged.
Thursday evening wasn't too great however. I had cooked one of Margaret,s favourite meals, Shepherd's Pie, but soon after we had sat down Margaret became upset over something, but I didn't know what. She then got on to my being a liar about Louis and the wine incident and finally ended up screaming at me and taking herself of to her bedroom with out touching her dinner. After a while and when I had finished my dinner I went and asked her if she wanted her dinner warmed up and she said that she didn't want it. I saved some for Louis' dinner on Saturday, threw the rest away and cleared up before settling in front of the TV. About 8.30 pm Margaret came into the lounge and said that she was hungry and wanted another glass of wine ( No.2 and we are both counting now). She wanted a peanut butter sandwich so I made her one and she settled down as if there had been nothing wrong. Louis even came out from his hiding place and joined us. Finally I worked out that she had been upset by a phone call from Blue Care which I had received earlier in the day asking me to confirm that I wanted respite care this coming Wednesday while I went to my computer club. Margaret said that she didn't want respite care and I could leave her on her own for four hours. I told her that I could not do that and she was off again and went to bed at about 9.30 pm. I went in later and settled her down for the night making sure that she took her medications.
Friday morning she woke up in a reasonable mood and we decided to go out to a local Thai restaurant for lunch. It was a great success. We both had a mild curry and rice which was superbly cooked by the owner. She is a little Thai lady and her children, a boy and a girl both about 20, serve at the table. One thing about living in a tourist area is that there are plenty of good little restaurants.
After lunch Margaret had a rest and got up about 6.30 pm for a sandwich and her glass of wine (No. 1). She watch TV with me and a bit later asked if she could have another drink and I said she could (No.2). After that program we were watching ended she went to bed. It had been a good day.
Saturday she was very tired, a side effect of toxin build up is lethargy, so she remained in bed while I did the washing. We have had several weeks of heavy rain but Saturday was bright and windy so everything dried beautifully and there was no washing drying around the house and garage. Dinner was cold roast chicken and salad which Margaret likes and we had a bottle of sparking white wine which we are not allowed to call champagne in Australia but it tastes much the same:) Margaret doesn't like The Bill which I watch on Saturday evening so she went to bed early after her second glass of wine. Another good day.
Sunday it rained and I caught up with the inside housework while Margaret rested. Not much happened and apart for a little spat from Margaret when I couldn't understand what she was trying to say - something about "what's his name's whats it"- she was in a good mood. In the afternoon I backed up Margaret's computer as she has developed a habit of deleting her photos after she views them. I will be able to do a complete restore every couple of days. She spends a lot of time just browsing her photos so it is very important that she doesn't loose any. Luckily I have stored most, if not all, of them on a Network Attached File Server, and on CDs so I can generally get them back for her. Note that somehow or other she also empties her rubbish bin each time she logs off so it is not just a simple restore job. We had a light evening meal and Margaret went to bed early after 2 1/2 glasses of sparkling wine.
Monday was much of the same. Margaret being very lethargic and docile ( I love that word!). I cooked marinated chicken pieces in our Weber kettle for dinner with roast potatoes, vegetables and gravy. She said, "I don't like it and the is too much". She then proceeded to eat the lot. We had a couple of glasses of wine each and she went to bed at 9.30pm.
Today she is still in a good mood. She doesn't want out come out to the library with me and will rest up.
Her GP, A, thinks that Margaret's condition is stable at present so we have month off from blood tests etc. However because of her limited (25%) renal function toxins are still affecting her brain and causing this lethargy. It is probably that she will remain in this state until her renal function drops again which could be triggered by an infection, flu or some thing like that. While she is quiet I can cope and I hope that last weeks behaviour doesn't return. The test will be tomorrow when the the Blue Care respite carer turns up and I disappear for the afternoon.
Thursday evening wasn't too great however. I had cooked one of Margaret,s favourite meals, Shepherd's Pie, but soon after we had sat down Margaret became upset over something, but I didn't know what. She then got on to my being a liar about Louis and the wine incident and finally ended up screaming at me and taking herself of to her bedroom with out touching her dinner. After a while and when I had finished my dinner I went and asked her if she wanted her dinner warmed up and she said that she didn't want it. I saved some for Louis' dinner on Saturday, threw the rest away and cleared up before settling in front of the TV. About 8.30 pm Margaret came into the lounge and said that she was hungry and wanted another glass of wine ( No.2 and we are both counting now). She wanted a peanut butter sandwich so I made her one and she settled down as if there had been nothing wrong. Louis even came out from his hiding place and joined us. Finally I worked out that she had been upset by a phone call from Blue Care which I had received earlier in the day asking me to confirm that I wanted respite care this coming Wednesday while I went to my computer club. Margaret said that she didn't want respite care and I could leave her on her own for four hours. I told her that I could not do that and she was off again and went to bed at about 9.30 pm. I went in later and settled her down for the night making sure that she took her medications.
Friday morning she woke up in a reasonable mood and we decided to go out to a local Thai restaurant for lunch. It was a great success. We both had a mild curry and rice which was superbly cooked by the owner. She is a little Thai lady and her children, a boy and a girl both about 20, serve at the table. One thing about living in a tourist area is that there are plenty of good little restaurants.
After lunch Margaret had a rest and got up about 6.30 pm for a sandwich and her glass of wine (No. 1). She watch TV with me and a bit later asked if she could have another drink and I said she could (No.2). After that program we were watching ended she went to bed. It had been a good day.
Saturday she was very tired, a side effect of toxin build up is lethargy, so she remained in bed while I did the washing. We have had several weeks of heavy rain but Saturday was bright and windy so everything dried beautifully and there was no washing drying around the house and garage. Dinner was cold roast chicken and salad which Margaret likes and we had a bottle of sparking white wine which we are not allowed to call champagne in Australia but it tastes much the same:) Margaret doesn't like The Bill which I watch on Saturday evening so she went to bed early after her second glass of wine. Another good day.
Sunday it rained and I caught up with the inside housework while Margaret rested. Not much happened and apart for a little spat from Margaret when I couldn't understand what she was trying to say - something about "what's his name's whats it"- she was in a good mood. In the afternoon I backed up Margaret's computer as she has developed a habit of deleting her photos after she views them. I will be able to do a complete restore every couple of days. She spends a lot of time just browsing her photos so it is very important that she doesn't loose any. Luckily I have stored most, if not all, of them on a Network Attached File Server, and on CDs so I can generally get them back for her. Note that somehow or other she also empties her rubbish bin each time she logs off so it is not just a simple restore job. We had a light evening meal and Margaret went to bed early after 2 1/2 glasses of sparkling wine.
Monday was much of the same. Margaret being very lethargic and docile ( I love that word!). I cooked marinated chicken pieces in our Weber kettle for dinner with roast potatoes, vegetables and gravy. She said, "I don't like it and the is too much". She then proceeded to eat the lot. We had a couple of glasses of wine each and she went to bed at 9.30pm.
Today she is still in a good mood. She doesn't want out come out to the library with me and will rest up.
Her GP, A, thinks that Margaret's condition is stable at present so we have month off from blood tests etc. However because of her limited (25%) renal function toxins are still affecting her brain and causing this lethargy. It is probably that she will remain in this state until her renal function drops again which could be triggered by an infection, flu or some thing like that. While she is quiet I can cope and I hope that last weeks behaviour doesn't return. The test will be tomorrow when the the Blue Care respite carer turns up and I disappear for the afternoon.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
A Really Bad few Days
Ola commented that I hadn't blogged for a few days and asked how we were. The answer is not too good.
I wont dwell on day to day activities which when things are going well don't change too much but just explain why I have been quiet.
I first started caring for Margaret in 2004 following several episodes of congestive heart failure caused by hypertension and Renal Artery Stenosis following many years of Crohn's Disease and arthritis. Margaret was still driving at the time and going out to do light shopping once a week but I took over most of the household duties.
In 2005 Margaret had what was described as "a complete rheumatological failure" with swelling of most of her joints and vasculitis. During this period she suffered the first of several mini strokes which affected her left side of her body slightly and even more importantly caused mild vascular dementia. She became less able to cope with day to day activities and I applied for official care status from the Australian Government for which I receive a payment of $104 every two weeks!
In 2006 Margaret had an undefined but widespread infection which hospitalized her for several weeks before it was discovered that she had diverticulitis. Surgery was performed to carry out a partial bowel resection where the Sigmoid Colon was removed which with her Crohn' Disease meant that Margaret would have continual bowel incontinence problems from then on.
In 2007 and 2008 Margaret had a series of falls causing multiple bruising and even fracturing her eye orbit. She had multiple problems and spent some time in Intensive Care having blood transfusions to restore her hemoglobin levels. At this time she was assessed by the Government as requiring Constant Low Level Care which gave her access to more support which is when Blue Care became involved.
In 2009 she was hospitalized five times and spent over two weeks in intensive care. In August she had a fall and apparent heart failure. In fact she had had two recent mini strokes affecting her balance and more seriously was suffering acute renal failure. This was stabilized and she spent two weeks in rehabilitation to get her back on her feet. Before releasing Margaret I was counseled by the hospital's sTaff on Margaret's future. She could have been transfered to a Nursing Home for frail aged persons or I could continue to care for her at home. By this time her driving license was revoked and we sold her little car. In October I started this blog
I had the romantic idea that caring for Margaret would be a self rewarding task but in fact it has become a daily grind without many rewards. Margaret's dementia has increased dramatically and she has become more and more selfish. If anything upsets her she get really annoyed and abusive towards me. I am told that this is the effect of the toxins in her blood affecting her brain.
Some things are just a little irritating and occasionally amusing. An annoying thing is her inability to understand times or dates. On the day of her Doctor's visit this Tuesday she asked me when she should get up and I said about 9.30 am. This was at 7.00 am and I don't exaggerate when I say that she wheeled herself out to ask me the same question 5 more times but at 9.30 was fast asleep and didn't want to get up.
An amusing incident was on Wednesday when following a minor accident Margaret had put her incontinence pants in a kitchen tidy bag with handles. She she couldn't find a clean pair. By the time I got to her following her calls for help she was standing with her feet through the handles of the bag with the soiled pants still in it complaining that she didn't know how to get them on. I calmed her down but couldn't help laughing at the ridiculous sight.
The thing that has got me really upset is Margaret's reaction to a minor event which occurred on Monday night. She had made a fuss about having more that her normal ration of wine and refilled her glass. I gave up and went into the kitchen to empty the dishwasher before going to bed. I could her her calling Louis and offering him wine to drink. This annoyed me and I told her to stop. Since then she has started calling me a liar and that she was feeding Louis, At the time she told me that he wouldn't drink the wine anyway.
Things were tense during her Doctor's visit. Actually her blood tests showed that her kidneys were holding on at an eGFR of 28. Poor but better tan we had hoped for. While not knowing the story behind the tenseness A, the Doctor, told Margaret how proud he was of her to keep going on and what a good job I was doing looking after her. Margaret was noncommittal in her response an I bit my tongue.
Wednesday morning I received a call from Blue Care asking if I still wanted my respite period next Wednesday to go to my Computer Club. I confirmed the arrangement but Margaret overheard me. She made a fuss most of the day saying that she didn't want anybody in the house checking up on her and that she was going out on her own. This is funny as the previous day A had said that she must always use her wheelchair when she goes outside and she really can't wheel herself. I ignored the fuss and didn't respond.
Things were still tense over dinner and afterwards we had the same act over wine. She got very abusive and brought up Louis and wine again. She told me I was a horrible person and a liar because she had not had as much to drink as I said and that she had never given wine to Louis. The later became the important thing and she screamed and verbally abused me until she went to bed. She continued, from about 9.30 pm to 1.30 am, getting out of bed and coming to abuse me. She would ram her wheely walker against my bed to wake me, scream abuse and departing slamming doors as she went. At one stage she had the gas fire lighter which I use to light her candle at night. She was switching it on on and off, waving the flame near my face and threatening to burn me. In the end I grabbed it and snapped in half to prevent her using it again. I had decided not to respond to Margaret's abuse and kept my mouth shut and this seemed to infuriate her more. I knew that if I responded I could lose my temper and the way things were going get violent. I finally got to sleep about 2.00 am this morning.
And that is why I haven't blogged for a while. There is no reward when the person you care is totally selfish, abusive and thinks that you are a nasty evil lying bastard.
I wont dwell on day to day activities which when things are going well don't change too much but just explain why I have been quiet.
I first started caring for Margaret in 2004 following several episodes of congestive heart failure caused by hypertension and Renal Artery Stenosis following many years of Crohn's Disease and arthritis. Margaret was still driving at the time and going out to do light shopping once a week but I took over most of the household duties.
In 2005 Margaret had what was described as "a complete rheumatological failure" with swelling of most of her joints and vasculitis. During this period she suffered the first of several mini strokes which affected her left side of her body slightly and even more importantly caused mild vascular dementia. She became less able to cope with day to day activities and I applied for official care status from the Australian Government for which I receive a payment of $104 every two weeks!
In 2006 Margaret had an undefined but widespread infection which hospitalized her for several weeks before it was discovered that she had diverticulitis. Surgery was performed to carry out a partial bowel resection where the Sigmoid Colon was removed which with her Crohn' Disease meant that Margaret would have continual bowel incontinence problems from then on.
In 2007 and 2008 Margaret had a series of falls causing multiple bruising and even fracturing her eye orbit. She had multiple problems and spent some time in Intensive Care having blood transfusions to restore her hemoglobin levels. At this time she was assessed by the Government as requiring Constant Low Level Care which gave her access to more support which is when Blue Care became involved.
In 2009 she was hospitalized five times and spent over two weeks in intensive care. In August she had a fall and apparent heart failure. In fact she had had two recent mini strokes affecting her balance and more seriously was suffering acute renal failure. This was stabilized and she spent two weeks in rehabilitation to get her back on her feet. Before releasing Margaret I was counseled by the hospital's sTaff on Margaret's future. She could have been transfered to a Nursing Home for frail aged persons or I could continue to care for her at home. By this time her driving license was revoked and we sold her little car. In October I started this blog
I had the romantic idea that caring for Margaret would be a self rewarding task but in fact it has become a daily grind without many rewards. Margaret's dementia has increased dramatically and she has become more and more selfish. If anything upsets her she get really annoyed and abusive towards me. I am told that this is the effect of the toxins in her blood affecting her brain.
Some things are just a little irritating and occasionally amusing. An annoying thing is her inability to understand times or dates. On the day of her Doctor's visit this Tuesday she asked me when she should get up and I said about 9.30 am. This was at 7.00 am and I don't exaggerate when I say that she wheeled herself out to ask me the same question 5 more times but at 9.30 was fast asleep and didn't want to get up.
An amusing incident was on Wednesday when following a minor accident Margaret had put her incontinence pants in a kitchen tidy bag with handles. She she couldn't find a clean pair. By the time I got to her following her calls for help she was standing with her feet through the handles of the bag with the soiled pants still in it complaining that she didn't know how to get them on. I calmed her down but couldn't help laughing at the ridiculous sight.
The thing that has got me really upset is Margaret's reaction to a minor event which occurred on Monday night. She had made a fuss about having more that her normal ration of wine and refilled her glass. I gave up and went into the kitchen to empty the dishwasher before going to bed. I could her her calling Louis and offering him wine to drink. This annoyed me and I told her to stop. Since then she has started calling me a liar and that she was feeding Louis, At the time she told me that he wouldn't drink the wine anyway.
Things were tense during her Doctor's visit. Actually her blood tests showed that her kidneys were holding on at an eGFR of 28. Poor but better tan we had hoped for. While not knowing the story behind the tenseness A, the Doctor, told Margaret how proud he was of her to keep going on and what a good job I was doing looking after her. Margaret was noncommittal in her response an I bit my tongue.
Wednesday morning I received a call from Blue Care asking if I still wanted my respite period next Wednesday to go to my Computer Club. I confirmed the arrangement but Margaret overheard me. She made a fuss most of the day saying that she didn't want anybody in the house checking up on her and that she was going out on her own. This is funny as the previous day A had said that she must always use her wheelchair when she goes outside and she really can't wheel herself. I ignored the fuss and didn't respond.
Things were still tense over dinner and afterwards we had the same act over wine. She got very abusive and brought up Louis and wine again. She told me I was a horrible person and a liar because she had not had as much to drink as I said and that she had never given wine to Louis. The later became the important thing and she screamed and verbally abused me until she went to bed. She continued, from about 9.30 pm to 1.30 am, getting out of bed and coming to abuse me. She would ram her wheely walker against my bed to wake me, scream abuse and departing slamming doors as she went. At one stage she had the gas fire lighter which I use to light her candle at night. She was switching it on on and off, waving the flame near my face and threatening to burn me. In the end I grabbed it and snapped in half to prevent her using it again. I had decided not to respond to Margaret's abuse and kept my mouth shut and this seemed to infuriate her more. I knew that if I responded I could lose my temper and the way things were going get violent. I finally got to sleep about 2.00 am this morning.
And that is why I haven't blogged for a while. There is no reward when the person you care is totally selfish, abusive and thinks that you are a nasty evil lying bastard.
Friday, March 5, 2010
A Wet Few Days
I signed off on Tuesday saying that it was going to be a wet day. It was and so were Wednesday and Thursday and today more rain is forecast. South East Queensland is saturated. We are OK having only 220 mm of rain over three days. Some areas have had that in three hours and are flooded. Louis has been having a ball as there are some deep pools in out local park which he loves to play in and he comes home looking like a happy drowned rat. I rub him down in the garage and he the lies on a towel at the foot of Margaret's bed to dry off.
This has all meant that we have been literally confined to the house most of the time. I have spent the time putting together a little tutorial on using Wiki on a Stick (WoaS) to generate a portable Wiki page. I hope to present this tutorial at the computer club in a couple of weeks time.
Margaret stays in bed most of the time except for dinner and a little while afterwards. She is much the same, confused about dates and a really bad short time memory loss plus continuing incontinence. I am taking her for a blood test later today and will get the results next Tuesday.
One interesting thing about her behavior is her making up stories which become real life to her. I hope K doesn't mind but this is an example. K and Margaret have been friends for fifty years and in happier time communicated by e-mail sending each other jokes. Because of Margaret's problems and K's personal life this communication has been disrupted. Recently K has tried to forward some jokes to her and these have given rise to a real problem. Margaret thinks, based on absolutely nothing other than disrupted communication, that K is being isolated from her by his family who are preventing him communicating with her. she believes that K has set up an alternative communication method by getting another friend to relay messages.
The last e-mail contained an attachment in the form of an e-mail with a video video titled "Do You Know Who I Am" attached to it. Unfortunately the video didn't play. I have actually received it attached to another e-mail so I explained to Margaret what it was. Margaret doesn't believe me. She knows that the forwarded e-mail is a request from the original sender, a woman, to set a up a clandestine communication route to K. I pointed out that K had sent the parent e-mail and the attached e-mail was just that. She has spend hours trying to contact the the "contact' to let her know that she does know who she is! Short of disconnecting Margaret from the Internet I don't know how to prevent her sending spurious e-mails to this lady. I hope K understands.
This has all meant that we have been literally confined to the house most of the time. I have spent the time putting together a little tutorial on using Wiki on a Stick (WoaS) to generate a portable Wiki page. I hope to present this tutorial at the computer club in a couple of weeks time.
Margaret stays in bed most of the time except for dinner and a little while afterwards. She is much the same, confused about dates and a really bad short time memory loss plus continuing incontinence. I am taking her for a blood test later today and will get the results next Tuesday.
One interesting thing about her behavior is her making up stories which become real life to her. I hope K doesn't mind but this is an example. K and Margaret have been friends for fifty years and in happier time communicated by e-mail sending each other jokes. Because of Margaret's problems and K's personal life this communication has been disrupted. Recently K has tried to forward some jokes to her and these have given rise to a real problem. Margaret thinks, based on absolutely nothing other than disrupted communication, that K is being isolated from her by his family who are preventing him communicating with her. she believes that K has set up an alternative communication method by getting another friend to relay messages.
The last e-mail contained an attachment in the form of an e-mail with a video video titled "Do You Know Who I Am" attached to it. Unfortunately the video didn't play. I have actually received it attached to another e-mail so I explained to Margaret what it was. Margaret doesn't believe me. She knows that the forwarded e-mail is a request from the original sender, a woman, to set a up a clandestine communication route to K. I pointed out that K had sent the parent e-mail and the attached e-mail was just that. She has spend hours trying to contact the the "contact' to let her know that she does know who she is! Short of disconnecting Margaret from the Internet I don't know how to prevent her sending spurious e-mails to this lady. I hope K understands.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
More of the Same
Friday lunch was a complete success. Margaret had decided that we should try an Indian meal for a change so we went to a restaurant we knew as Chutney Mary's in Noosaville but found out that it was now called Raj Indian. The only problem was that it hadn't got it's full liquor license and I had to pop down the road to buy a bottle of wine and a couple of stubbies of light beer. Luckily most wine bottles these days have screw tops so we could save what Margaret didn't drink for later. We could have have the lunch time special which looked very good value at $11.90 but we went up market and had Tandoori style meals. Margaret ordered a Tandoori Chicken and I had Tandoori Prawns. Actually we shared. We had some Garlic Nann and rice to accompany the main courses. It was a really good meal. We spent the rest of the afternoon resting.
Margaret wanted a sandwich for tea but I just had some more chocolate finishing the large bar off. We were watching TV while I got my UK Drama Series fix, Silent Witness, when Margaret quite suddenly got upset with me. I don't know what I had done but she stormed off to the kitchen to get her bedtime medications which she couldn't work out so I had to help her. I made sure that she got into bed OK and went back to the TV – thank goodness for a time shifting DVD recorder. Later I had to help Margaret get back under the covers before I went to bed.
Saturday was a pretty bland day. Washing and house work. Margaret appeared to have forgotten that she was annoyed with me and we had a quiet day. I should point out that Margaret is now pretty much bedridden and still having “accidents” when she loses the race from her bed to the bathroom but this in now part of normal life for us now. She also has a really short memory span and conveniently forgets how many alcoholic drinks she had had. This gave rise to a funny incident Saturday evening. Margaret had been drinking white wine from a cask and when she wanted to go to bed she said that she was going to fill her glass up. As she had reached her normal limit I got cross but she said I should stop bullying her and she was having another glass. Next she went to the kitchen and filled a large glass with chilled water!!. She never realised that I was worried about the grog.
Sunday – another quiet day with Margaret becoming more detached from real life. She only leaves her room for dinner of when we have to go out. She never knows what day it is and I have to tell her several times a day. She also wants to know when her next medical appointments are. These are written on the calendar but as she doesn't know the day of the week or even month of the year this isn't much good. A typical conversation is:
Margaret, “ When do I go and see A (her GP) again?”
Brian, “Not until Tuesday week – March the ninth but you have a blood test next Friday.”
Margaret, “Why do I need a blood test.”
Brian, “A asked for it to see how you are going and to check your kidney function.”
Margaret. “When doe I get the results?”
Brian, “When you see A the Tuesday after?”
Margaret. “Do I have an appointment?”
Brian, “Yes.”
and so on.
This will be repeated at least twice a day.
In the evening little Louis was fast asleep on the settee with his head under on of the cushions which he finally pushed on the floor giving himself a fright. We both had a good laugh at his surprise and left the cushion on the ground. About an hour later Margaret wanted to go to bed and when she got up she saw the cushion on the floor and asked how it had got there. She had forgotten Louis' little episode earlier.
Monday I went shopping early after Louis walk and getting Margaret's breakfast. While driving between one shopping centre to another my mobile phone rang. I pulled over but the caller had hung up. It was Margaret. I phoned home and got no reply so I phoned her mobile which she is supposed to carry at all times. Again there was no reply. I drove straight home to find Margaret in the bathroom with a diarrhea attack. She was OK but had phoned me to get her some Lomotil.
The rest of the day was quiet and we had a roast chicken dinner which she enjoyed.
Today Margaret has started with pains in her legs which is probably due to mineral loss causing cramps and she has had a nasty diarrhea attack. It is pouring with rain and it looks like being a long gloomy day confined indoors.
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