The visit to Margaret's GP on Friday ended with a totally different result to what I expected. He gave us Margaret's new prescriptions and listened to the Blue Care RN's plan for Margaret's at home care. He than very quietly and kindly told Margaret that it wouldn't work for two reasons.
One she was much to ill and weak to be cared for at home in the short term and in his opinion she required full time nursing care. In the long term, however long she has got, she will require manual assistance just to exist. This will include assistance in getting in and out of chairs and bed and also supervision while walking. showering, toileting and even dressing.
Two she would require so much support that, unless I could afford full time nursing care, at my age my health would soon give out and we would both be in nursing homes.
Margaret was very upset and accused me of plotting " to put her away" fortunately A, told her that it had been my stated intention of caring for her until it was no longer safe to do so. It was no longer safe for either of us to continue with me as the sole carer even with boosted Blue Care support.
He phoned the Noosa Nursing Centre and ascertained that they could provide a temporary respite care bed for two weeks form next Tuesday, August 3 and following an assessment of her future needs a High Care Permanent Placing was available. I phoned the Nursing Centre after lunch and we had a look around. The respite care room is a little grim, just a bare hospital room but the permanent rooms are better and she will be able to have her own chair and TV plus all her photos and mementos. By it's very description, the other High Care residents vary in their disabilities but most are bright individuals and appeared happy in their surroundings.
I have arranged for Margaret to be visited by the Aged Care Assessment Team next Wednesday and the assessor has already received A's medical assessment of Margaret. She said it is most likely that Margaret would be assessed as High Care and I should be able to commence the permanent admission paper work in time for Margaret to move in permanently after her respite stage ends. She is not likely to live at home again.
This end the longest chapter in our lives as we have lived together for nearly 52 years.
The last three days have been very difficult, not just because of my feeling of failure in caring for Margaret but in the actual care itself. It has been very hard as almost everything Margaret does has to be supervised unless she is in bed. She can't get up out of our quite high recliner chairs without assistance. She can't dress. She can't use her normal toilet without assistance. Several times she has forgotten that she has a commode chair beside he bed and struggled into her en-suite and used the normal one. I then have to struggle to get her off it again. She doesn't find it funny if I call her Mrs Pompfrey from the classic ditty "Three Old Ladies" .
She is also in considerable pain which has begun to affect her sleep and I have had to get up several times during the night to settle her down. I was with her at 1.00, 2.00, 4.00 and 5.30 this morning before I finally cave her an additional painkiller above her normally prescribed amount.
On top of this her weepy legs soil her bed linen which I have to change and wash daily and I still have the normal housework, shopping, gardening and dog walking to do. The latter I enjoy as for a few minutes each day I can meet our other dog walking friends. I stay a few minutes in the park near home and let Louis run free to get his exercise.
Tomorrow I must pack a few things for Margaret and get all her medications put into blister packs by our local pharmacist before cooking our final dinner at home for her. I think it will one of her favourites Shepherd's Pie.
I shall next update this blog after Margaret's assessment when I know what her future holds.
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