Margaret has me Stumped

Yesterday I had a bit of a whinge about Margaret being unhappy and taking it out on me but this morning I saw how desperately unhappy she is.

I get up early, shower, shave and have breakfast before checking on Margaret then taking Louis for his morning walk at about 6.00 am. This morning Margaret was sound asleep so I left her and went out to meet J and her dog Jack for our morning walk. When I got home Margaret was lying on top of her bed in tears. I tried to comfort her but all she could say is that she wants to go home. After 51 years of marriage and living in this house for over 12 years which is longer than we have lived anywhere else I thought this was Margaret's home. It appears that in Margaret's confused mind there is a place that is really home to her.

I managed to give her some comfort and Louis jumped on her bed and laid beside her while I got her breakfast which Louis shares with her.

Yesterday Margaret's GP explained that while her blood tests were holding steady the continuing increased levels of toxins in her blood would be exacerbating her confusion and causing other side effects such as itching skin and watery eyes. These will get worse over time and she will continue to have blood tests every two weeks from now on and when the kidney function drops below a certain point she will have to go into hospital for hospice type care. As I have said before dialysis is not an option.

In the mean time I am determined to try and help Margaret feel that she is at home.