Margaret's Progress

We took a break from visiting Margaret on Tuesday and Wednesday as advised by her GP and took Louis into visit her on Thursday morning.

When we arrived Margaret was in her chair with a mattress in front of it.  Both her legs were weeping but she actually looked a lot better.  She was still very confused but a lot calmer.

I asked the carers if we could take her for a walk as it was a beautiful morning and they got her into her wheelchair.  Helen held Louis' lead as I pushed Margaret's wheelchair around the block for about 45 minutes.  Margaret knew that we hadn't visited but seemed to think that I had been away on a business trip which I did a lot of in the 70s and 80s.  Helen was still in trouble as she hadn't visited while I was away!  Margaret now refers to the Nursing Centre as "our home" and appears to consider the cares as bossy neighbours.

The RN told us that Margaret had settled down a lot and was being quite pleasant to everybody and much easier to care for.  She was still having hallucinations and they wondered if Margaret had had any unpleasant experiences as a child as she was very scared of being sexually assaulted.  I first met Margaret when she was  nineteen and she has never mentioned anything to me except being chatted up by an American Serviceman near Hampton Court in her early teens. Perhaps there was more to it than she said.

Just before lunch Helen and I left to take Louis home and I told Margaret that I would return at 1.00 pm to see if her GP was dropping in during 1 and 2.  Margaret was going to have lunch in the dining room and was taken there in her wheelchair as we left.  When I returned lunch was over but Margaret was sitting by herself in the dining room.  She had refused to eat anything and had got upset because I hadn't returned.  In fact I was there just before 1.00pm.  I wheeled her back to her room and the carers took her to the toilet and settled her in her chair.  I stayed until 2.00 pm but her GP didn't visit. (He actually visited in the evening).  Margaret was still very confused and we had a long conversation about my "business trips" and Helen's lack of concern about her being left at home on her own.  While she liked some of the people who visted (carers and RNs) some were bossy and they didn't seem to realise that this was "our home".

Before I left I was advised to limit my visiting as Margaret got upset when I left and took some time to settle.  She was quite OK after she had settled and quite happy if somewhat confused.  Apparently she misses me and one day's absence is treated as weeks away on "business".  I hadn't realised how much affect my  life as an engineer working on defence programs entailing numerous trips away from had had on her.  I do know that at its peak I spent more working days away from my office than in it for a few years.  At the time Margaret was heavily into local theatre and film work and said that she was OK.

On Friday I couldn't make up my mind what to do about visiting but finally decided to go in by bus with Helen.  We arrived at 12.30 pm to find Margaret sitting up in her chair having eaten a good lunch in her room.  She was is quite a nice mood but complained that we hadn't been in for days.  She knew that I had to go away but Helen should have looked in on her.  Again she was back in the 70s when Helen was a difficult teenager and we didn't know where she was for quite long periods.  Because we had come in by bus we set a definite time to leave at 1.50 pm as our bus left at 2.00 pm and could be a little early.  Margaret took this quite well and seemed quite settled when we left.

We told her that I would return on Sunday with Louis but Helen would look in and have lunch with her on Saturday which is where she is now.